A popular, sometimes fiery, sometimes bland, Chicken Vindaloo is synonymous with Goa. It’s a delicacy that just like Goa, needs time, patience and an ardent effort of a true epicurean, can reward your taste buds.
Homi Adajania’s film, Finding Fanny is surely the famed Goan delicacy on celluloid painstakingly prepared to satiate cinematic palate of an audience craving for something hatke than the usual junk food of masala films.
Naseeruddin Shah, as a postman and choir singer (often breaking into ‘thank you speeches’, and Pankaj Kapur as Don Pedro ‘inspired’ by ‘Rosie’s Rear’ are sure to steal your heart, while Deepika looks like million bucks bathed in the Goan sun but is undoubtedly pathetic narrator of the film, where her voice lacks an iota of emotion.
Dimple Kapadia adds weight to her character, literally and metaphorically, especially the scene where she shares a Brandy with Pankaj Kapur and shares its effects on her (legs). The film begins on a promising note, but sadly ends up nowhere. Nevertheless, it’s the delectable journey that’s worth savouring. Here’s to you a fictional recipe of this feast of a film:
Savouring Time: 93 min
Serves: World Cinema Enthusiasts
Chef: Homi Adajania
Ingredients:
- Chicken Naseeruddin Shah marinated well with decades of immaculate acting and sauce of timidity as Ferdie, an old postman.
- Onion Deepika Padukone with teary eyes and many layers to her role of Angelina, a ‘virgin’ widow.
- Clarified Butter Dimple Kapadia to add extra fat to the screen with her role of Rosalina “Rosie” Eucharistica.
- Deghi Mirch Arjun Kapoor to play Savio Da Gama, the mechanic with fire on his tongue and unexpressed love in his heart.
- Potato Pankaj Kapur to play Don Pedro Cleto Colaco, an eccentric artist caught in a creative block.
- Holy Water Ankur Tiwari representing the Catholic priests waiting for 2000 years to witness the ‘Second Coming’.
- White Vinegar Anjali Patil to play Stefanie Fernandes, the ‘Fanny’ whom Ferdie (Naseer) sets out to find.
Method:
- Soak Dry Red Chillies of an undelivered letter in White Vinegar of Fanny for 46 years in an idyllic Goan village called Pocolim.
- Pour into blender of unrequited love and grind into smooth paste of friendship between Ferdie (Naseeruddin Shah) and Angie (Deepika Padukone).
- In the small pan of Pocolim, heat Clarified Butter Rosie (Dimple Kapadia) on medium heat and allow it to expand throughout the frame, much to the delight of potato Don Pedro (Pankaj Kapur)
- Once hot, add holy water priest (Ankur Tiwari) and white vinegar Fannie (Anjali Patil).
- Once they start sizzling, add in Deghi Mirch Savio (Arjun Kapoor), a once-ditched twice shy lover of Angie (Deepika Padukone), who chose Gabo (Ranveer Singh in a ‘short-lived’ appearance) over him because he never ‘said it’.
- Add in Potato Don Pedro (Pankaj Kapur) and peel off the previous layers of restraint and set him free to do bouts of madness as an artist inspired by the ‘beauty’ of Rosie. Add a pinch of dead cat salt to taste.
- Mix all the five ingredients in a rattling car and lower heat to a medium-low flame. Stir emotions intermittently, while the camera of Anil Mehta captures an unseen Goa set against music of Mathias Duplessy and Sachin-Jigar.
- Remove from flame stove and serve ‘Finding Fanny’ over white Rice of English dialogues peppered with ‘I toh thought’ kind of Indian Angrezi sans pretense of British/US accent or an option of Hindi Naans.
Tip:
- Chicken Vindaloo of Finding Fanny tastes even better the next day, it gives the spices of well-written dialogues by Homi Adajania, Kersi Khambatta, and Goan writer Cecil Pinto to marinate it further.
- Keep your expectations on a low flame, for this one’s not a life-altering cinematic treat, but a pure Goan indulgence.
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