Bang Bang is a bang-on zero-brainer entertainer

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“Kahan hai woh Ashok Kumar aur Dev Anand jo heere ke saath saath dil bhi churaa liya karte the!” sighs the Dadi’s character in Bang Bang when she walks inside the bathroom where Katrina Kaif is bathing without locking the bathroom door.

Wait, given her expressions, she was perhaps doing some soap ad, else who smiles and wears a seduced expression while bathing in day-to-day life? She hadn’t even met her ‘hero’ till then (Pity, this London Lass is made to get seduced by almost everything under the sun, right from mango drinks, tiles, to chocolates).

So where were we? Dadi, the ever-effervescent Dadi who doesn’t even bother where her granddaughter is after she disappears for a world trip with her Bang Bang Man wonders where those Ashok Kumars and Dev Anands have gone in this modern age and this is exactly what the audience might think (If at all they’re allowed to do so) while watching Bang Bang.

Watch the DVD of Jewel Thief and you’ll know where Dadi comes from – there’s not an iota of intelligence in any of the characters. It seems as if there’s a ‘Who’s Dumber?’ contest here and if it actually were to take place, director Siddharth Anand would have won hands down.

One is tempted to ask director Siddharth Anand – Isn’t that unfair? You pick up an excuse of a story (Forget Knight and Day, nobody bothered to watch it), weave it around a Kohinoor Heera and then go the ‘Ek Tha Tiger’ and ‘Agent Vinod’ way, endorsing every possible product right from Skoda, Honda (Toyota suddenly becomes Honda as described by Hritik’s character), Pizza Hut, Mountain Dew (to name a phew!), only to reveal that the audience were being fooled? How about a simple disclaimer in those larger than life trailers with a line – Leave your brains at home to enjoy this?

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I had the opportunity to watch the shoot of this film (Have shared the badly clicked pic here as a memento of the first film shooting I ever saw in my life, which was primarily the reason I went to watch it first day first show), where Danny was so prepared for his role that his walk, gait and way of speaking changed even after his shots being ‘okayed’ by the director. Such was his dedication that even his shot was over, he sat on the set, watching the proceedings in rapt attention. He became a different person once pack up was announced. I wonder what he must be thinking after watching Bang Bang.

The veteran actor is completely wasted here. I am sure he must be upholding those bad 90s films, where the villain at least had a strong motive to commit a crime, be it Bakhtawar of ‘Hum’, Kaatya of ‘Ghatak’ or Kancha Cheena of ‘Agneepath’ (Original) or Here he is just a caricature with screen time as much as a comedian in the 90s films. Let’s not even mention Pavan Malhotra (What was he doing here?) and Javed Jaffrey (Seemed as if he were doing some Sherwani Showroom’s ad akin to those ‘yaar ki shaadi hai’ kind of badly made commercials).

Hritik Roshan, in all his glory, is the only saving grace of this film. He carries this lazily written film by this ensemble of ‘writers’: Sujoy Ghosh and Suresh Nair (for silly screenplay), Patrick O’Neill (for unoriginal story), and Abbas Tyrewala (for dabba dialogues). There’s this unmistakable ‘Did you notice how good I look’ kind of expression on Hritik Roshan’s face, surprisingly, even after he has taken a bullet and jumps on the windshield of Katrina Kaif’s ‘Dadaji ki gaadi’.

In fact, Hritik’s character Rajveer Nanda seems to have skin made of bullet proof material (Just like Katrina’s role has brains made of logic-proof material). He takes multiple bullets but still survives all through the film. In one particular scene, he removes the bullet like a thorn from the feet and asks Katrina to hold a torch while he stitches his wound.

Lo and behold, it’s a minor stitch and he proudly shows off his six-pack abs to her with a minor handy-plast kind of thing over his stomach (Why keep that little ‘reality’ Mr. Siddhart Anand? You could have done away with that too). Impressive indeed! Nevertheless, you just can’t deny the fact that Hritik makes Bang Bang watchable or at least, bearable.

Katrina Kaif – the less said, the better. If you have watched ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’, you’d already know her acting prowess. So I’d better leave it there and proceed to say that the only brownie point director Siddharth Anand scores in Bang Bang is the action sequences and his decision to choose Katrina Kaif to play a dumb girl’s role. No director ever demonstrated such prudence, so you deserve a standing ovation sir!

The cinematography by Ben Jasper, Vikas Sivaraman, and Vadodara-based Sunil Patel is commendable, especially the action sequences, which we haven’t seen in Indian films, at least not at this scale. The shots of Prague and ‘Ghar’ of Hritik Roshan’s character (Yup, the home is called ‘Ghar’) are worth a mention. A slick editing by Akiv Ali ensures that you don’t miss your brains no matter what plays on the screen. It’s only when you reach parking lot that you realize you’ve been duped, and how!

So to sum it up, Bang Bang is bang-on when it comes to ‘leave your brains and home and enjoy’ kind of movies. Watch it at your own peril, lest your brains go bang bang.

 

 

 

 

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