It’s mushkil to appreciate Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

“Ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte”, “Friendship mein no sorry no thank you”, “Pyaar dosti hai”, “Pyaar mein junoon hai, par dosti mein sukoon hai” Karan Johar’s latest film, ‘Ae dil hai mushkil’ leaves no clichés unturned, while narrating this dialogue-loaded excuse of a film. Right from the first frame, to the end credits, this film is infested with dialogue-baazi that can put any Mughal-E-Azam or Once upon a time in Mumbai to shame.  

In this make-believe world of Karan Johar, nobody talks ‘normally’, but only in dialogues, be it Bollywood-themed lines in the first half or the Urdu-strewn lines in the second half. The Rahul-Anjali of Karan Johar refuse to grow up here and the basketball has been replaced with Bollywood.

*Fawad Khan flashes and vanishes*  

So, the moment they spot each other in a club, they decide to make out in Hollywood style, caring two hoots about their prospective spouses. Not that we have a problem here, but if Ranbeer’s character loved Lisa Haydon’s character so much, why did he never make a feeble attempt at protesting the ‘whore’ remark by Anushka Sharma’s character? And why was he weeping inconsolably on the streets for her?

*Fawad Khan flashes and vanishes*  

The reality behind chiffon saree and snow-clad mountains, which are already done-to-death, find pride of place here, as a desperate measure to keep us engaged. We grin, grimace, smirk, sneer, simper, but seldom do we smile throughout the film, trying to figure out what the whole fuss is all about. 

Heck, there’s not even a line like ‘It’s all about loving your family’ here, to cue us on what would transpire next. Talking about family, Karan Johar, this time decides to butcher the parents off his screenplay and replace the extra footage with Ranbeer on Tamasha mode. 

*Fawad Khan flashes and vanishes*  

Enter Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, the ‘shaayra’ drunk on Rekha’s Umrao Jaan (Let’s ignore the fact that she had once played the same character in the new version of Umrao Jaan). A revelation here: As a poet, I can vouch that poets don’t party on the remixed version of ‘Aaj jaane ki zidd na karo’, their homes don’t play Farida Khanum on loop, they aren’t incurable patients of verbal Urdu diarrhea, and they don’t speak in poetry. Aishwarya’s Sabaa is as fake as her accent at the Cannes Red Carpet. 

Trust me, poets are as normal as you are. But in Karan Johar’s Ae Dil Hai Mushkil world, the only thing remotely close to normal would perhaps be the ‘Dhumrapaan padega mehenga’ ads. Ranbeer and Anushka travel across the globe as if they were catching a local from Borivali to Bandra. They should have written a disclaimer reading: Ghoomra-paan padega mehenga. Shah Rukh Khan’s cameo comes across as an announcement of retiring from romantic films. Sigh. 

*Fawad Khan flashes and vanishes*  

When tired of adding masala from Jab We Met, DDLJ, KKHH, Kal Ho Na Ho, Rockstar, and Tamasha, Karan Johar decides to end the film on a Katti Batti note. The plot of Katti Batti has been shamelessly lifted in the climax, but the director goofs up big time, making one wish the film was called ‘Bald Bald Dekho’. 

*Fawad Khan flashes and vanishes, finally*

The only person you end up feeling sorry for is Ranbeer Kapoor. Despite being so talented, this guy never gets the script he deserves, and yet he rises notches above the script and makes you care for his character. Ranbeer is perhaps the only reason you might survive ‘Ae dil hai mushkil’. Else, trust me, Ae dil hai mushkil jhelna yahaan, zara Katti, zara Batti, yeh hai copy meri jaan. 

 

 

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