Popcornversations: Hero is made-to-order entertainer

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A fictional conversation between director Nikhil Advani and producer Salman Khan:

Nikhil Advani: Sir, the premise of the story is that our Hero (Promising Sooraj Pancholi) kidnaps heroine (Wooden Athiya Shetty) in guise of a cop with few friends for his dad-but-not-dad (Veteran Aditya Pancholi). They fall in love and the love story.

Salman Khan: Abey slow hai…this is not eighties…Increase the film’s pace like a thriller.

Nikhil Advani: But sir this is a love story!

Salman Khan: Why did you agree to remake Subhash Ghai’s Hero?

Nikhil Advani: Because you said so…

Salman Khan: Got your answer? So what next?

Nikhil Advani: Okay so our film suddenly turns into a thriller, thanks to heroine’s big cop dad (Misfit Tigmanshu Dhulia) and guy-about-to-marry-heroine (Gym-ready Vivan Bhatena). Heroine’s brother (Sharad Kelkar) supports in between as supporting role. Things get messed up.

Salman: (Animatedly) Fight. Muscle show!

Nikhil Advani: Right! And some more muscle show!

Salman: Big cop dad impressed. Hero sorted.

Nikhil Advani: Heroine asks big cop dad (And the audience) to forget everything by pressing alt.ctrl.del.

Salman Khan: Why alt.ctrl. del.?

Nikhil Advani: Don’t ask that…Bhai can you sing and promote it?

Salman Khan: Why sing?

Nikhil Advani: Like they say in advertising: If you can’t sell it, sing it!

Salman Khan: Done bro! Where’s the mic?

Nikhil Advani: Er… just next to that bundle of currency notes….my advance…

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